The pregnant lady and the tonsillectomy guy

Once upon a time there was a pregnant lady...she was big and stretch-mark-ed and starting to wonder when the huge parasite living in her stomach was going to run out of room and decide to escape.  The increasing intensity of rib-kicking, transverse stretching, and heartburn seemed to indicate that something was imminent...

Meanwhile there was a man with a super-power, he could clap his tonsils together. This feat was so impressive that the Ear-Nose-Throat doctor decided he needed to take a video of it to share with his ENT friends because he hadn't seen tonsils that big since...well... ever. 

 Since they were near reaching their $5,000 insurance deductible anyway they decided what-the-heck lets cut those suckers out.














Poor little guys....

neither of them seem too happy about the new arrangement. 

(The doctor wouldn't let us keep them-something about some laws...sanitary disposal...etc)

You know it's bad when Ryan can't even eat...

 You also know it's bad when no one in the house can lick the brownie batter because tonsillectomy guy's throat is scabbing and cracking and batter hurts too much and the pregnant lady isn't supposed to eat raw eggs...

You also know that it's bad when neither of you are able to sleep at the same time due to one of the following problems-throat scabs, alarms to take medication, having a bladder the size of a thimble, hip cramps, butt cramps, leg cramps, the necessity to intricately arrange 4 pillows into a perfect belly-supporting setup, heartburn, sleeping through the medication alarms and waking up in dire pain due to throat scabs, sneezing that causes your throat to fill with blood and having to eat ice for 40 minutes until it stops, never being able to sleep between 4-6:30am anymore, not enough humidity, too much humidity, too hot with the humidifiers, too loud with the humidifiers and the AC unit running. Mice. Restless leg syndrome. hemorrhoids. And the baby is taking Tae Bo lessons. 

Pregnancy lady kept thinking that her mascara had dripped below her eyes but when she tried to wash it off it was just dark bags under them. Good sleep-deprivation-training for when the parasite arrives. 

This is what Ryan wore to the surgical center: plaid on plaid-rrrr

 This is what his mouth looked like(and smelled like) after: burnt rotting meat-greenish blackish red-

It's been fun...
One little ray of joy is what Ryan was asking for when he got out of surgery-a keyboard and monitor so he could communicate through HTML "I know it sounds dumb but I just know I can communicate better through HTML. I'm awake I swear."
Dr. Beus and the nurses weren't willing to help him out...what punks.



Overall things have been getting better though-Ryan's scabs are mostly healed- but he still can't eat much. We took a birthing prep class and learned the acronym P.A.I.N. for dealing with pain (Purposeful, Anticipated, Intermittent, Normal) so that should make it hurt less. We also learned that massage creates a blue arrow that intercepts the red arrow (pain) going to the brain and makes everything hunky dory.

We also learned that every PAIN we go through is "one step closer to baby" so that's nice to remind myself when I slam my fingers in the door "One step closer to baby" or when Ryan puts ketchup on his eggs and it stings his throat so much that he can't eat them is just "One step closer to baby". Thanks to this class I'm now prepared to have a human being extrude.

 Today is my last day of work at New Haven, 'I have a lot of mixed feelings about it. On the one hand it's nice to think about not being responsible for so many other families and lives and not have to try to resolve other people's craziness-just my own. On the other hand I'll miss seeing all the beautiful change and growth and goodness that comes when people are challenged in a loving therapeutic environment and I'll miss doing something that I'm good at and that brings goodness to the world.
Hopefully I'll be able to transition to my new role smoothly and if it is painful I'll just remember that acronym.